Today's waste of time: Old School v. Animal House

Spell checked and edited for her pleasure.

Old School: Topless K-Y jelly wrestling.
Animal House: Topless pillow fight and masturbation in the window.
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: Snoop Dogg
Animal House: Otis Day and the Knights
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: "Frank the Tank"
Animal House: "Bluto" Blutarsky
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: The Godfather.
Animal House: "Eric Stratton, rush chairman, damn glad to meet ya."
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: Ol' Blue.
Animal House: Flounder.
Advantage: Push

Old School: Cheese.
Animal House: Dean Wormer.
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: Accidentally waking up with underage bosses daughter.
Animal House: Fucking the Dean's wife.
Advantage: Push

Old School: "We're going to get so much ass here -- like boy band ass."
Animal House: "Fuck her. Fuck her brains out; suck her tits; squeeze her buns. You know she wants it. Look at those gazongas."
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: Streaking the Quad.
Animal House: "Food fight!"
Advantage: Old School

Old School: Mitch-a-palooza
Animal House: "To-ga,! To-ga! To-ga!"
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: Frank in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.
Animal House: Neidermeyer in the head with a golf ball.
Advantage: Push

Old School: First night of pledging = brick tied to penis
Animal House: First night of pledging = drunken singing of "Louis, Louis"
Advantage: Old School

Old School: House rezoned.
Animal House: Double secret probation.
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: 'True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..."
Animal House: "This case, I think we have to go all out! I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture, be done on somebody's part! And we're just the guys to do it!"
Advantage: Animal House

Old School: Lose girlfriend to group sex practices.
Animal House: Lose girlfriend to professor.
Advantage: Old School

Old School: Ending = pass tests to get fraternity back.
Animal House: Ending = destroy down in middle of school parade -- everybody expelled from school.
Advantage: Animal House

Winner: Animal House