My only regret is that I ever married you.

Emily, I hate you, you horrible fucking bitch. You want to rewrite the history of us to make me out to be the bad guy and you out to be an innocent victim? Fine. I could give a shit. You want to pretend that you didn’t know we were miserable for years? Go for it. Whatever helps you sleep at night. You want to take the dog, the possessions, and all the money? Take it. It’s just stuff. But we are over now. There is no us, so stay the fuck out of my life now. Stop fucking with me. Stop doing crazy shit like breaking into my phone account and then calling people. Stop harassing her. Stop it. Stop sending emails to my friends suggesting that “he’s been talking to some girl - makes you wonder, doesn’t it?” Stop sending goddamn private investigators or whoever the fuck they are to stalk her. Seriously. Are you fucking insane?!? Leave her out of this. Leave everyone else out of this. Grow up and take some fucking responsibility for your actions. Stop acting like a goddamn psycho. The truth that you think you’re going to find - this fantasy where “some girl” broke us up - does not exist. You broke us up with your hatefulness, with your cruelty, with your decisions to ignore me and my needs for the fucking life of our miserable excuse of a marriage. You know that in your heart, so stop with the motherfucking drama already. Own up to your role in this and get the fuck over it.

And just so you know, I never fucked her. I’ve never even met her. But I love her more than I ever loved you. She makes me happier than I ever thought a person could be. Happier than I ever imagined I could be. She gets me in ways you never did. She understands me, she thinks that I am something special, and she wants to be with me. She’s smart and talented and beautiful and sexy and not willing to dwell in mediocrity. She’s everything you aren’t and everything you could never be. I didn’t leave you because of her, but I would have if she had asked me. I would have walked away and never looked back.