Copious amounts, I tell you, copious

She: So after the cat chewed through your iPod headphones you stopped going to the gym?
He: Yeah.
She: So how did you lose two pounds while you were here? We were eating out the whole time, plus you went through all the Christmas cookies.
He: And the bag of chips, the jar of salsa, half a thing of coconut bars, plus I snuck a few taquitos out of your freezer. It must've been all the sex.
She: Ooh. I should come out there and implement your workout program.
He: Plus think of the improved productivity from the time I save by not masturbating.
She: Well, does that count as saved time if you're just transferring effort to a companion?
He: I don't think you realize how much time I spend masturbating.